She volunteered. I wonder why.
Med, this post shall be directed towards you.
I really do wonder why you chose to put yourself upon my list. You have seen what I did to the girl, in a matter of very little time. Do you think yourself stronger than her? Wiser? Or is it the arrogance that you so frequently show? Science and luck cannot save you forever, you know.
I must wonder. What is the point of your scientific studies? You are going to die. Everyone reading this is going to die. And sooner rather than later. Do you expect the be the catalyst that ends this war? What do you hope to discover?
I can personally tell you that it is pointless.
Are you really willing to risk yourself to learn more? To risk others? How many injuries, how many deaths, are too many? How many experiments can go just a tad too far? How many innocents can be brought into this chaos before it's too much? How long will it be, Med?
And really, what have you discovered against what you have lost, hmm? How much more will you lose?
I say everything.
I hope you think it's worth it, Med. I hope you believe that you're helping people. Because you aren't, and any hope that you are is foolish, vain, and naive.
You have been called a Sage. I don't see it. I see a woman who is desperately trying to rationalize a world without rationalization. And tricking herself into believing that she's successful.
You're failing, Med. You will do nothing but fail.
~Aporia
It's true we will all die but as Med once said to me:
ReplyDelete"I for one would like my death to be at the end of a long life of giving the middle finger to slender and his ilk."
So bring it on.
Good luck, darling.
DeletePerhaps if you keep hiding from your responsibilities, you will have such a long life as to do so.
~Aporia
I'm not sure I understand. Care to explain?
DeleteYour time to understand will come soon enough.
Delete~Aporia
"To gain, you must lose. To lose you must gain." One day, we will win. Whether or not Med or any of us cause that victory is unimportant. Someone, someday, somewhere, will cause the end to all of this. That is what keeps me, and many others, going.
ReplyDeleteDo you really believe that? Truly?
DeleteShame. Because this will never end. There will always be Fears, be they the current or a new set. There is no escape.
~Aporia
...I had a dream, not too long ago. One of those infuriatingly cryptic ones. I might give it a full post at some point, but for now here's an excerpt.
ReplyDelete"Choose whatever path you like. The destination's the same."
"But the journey's different."
If you really don't know why I volunteered, Aporia, then you don't know me as well as you think. Yes, I have seen, or rather heard, what you have done to Spyre. And I am not amused.
I admit freely some of your points have hit home, and hard. They are not enough to shake me from my course.
I was appointed a Sage because someone saw in me a reason to have the title, whatever it may have been. Have I ever said I was stronger or wiser than anyone else? No, because I don't believe that's true, and don't pretend and preen and think your words gave me that notion. It was like that from the start. I went into this knowing the stakes and the odds.
What I am is doing my utmost to leave the world better than when I came into it, in the manner I best can. Am I actually helping? Are all the sacrifices worth it? Only time can say. But if they buy a better life for future and even current Runners, no matter how minimal, then I will say the answer is a complete and unremitting yes.
With regards to science and luck not lasting forever, I'm going to shamelessly use a quote that sums my position up.
"Everybody knows that everybody dies, but not every day. Not today. Some days are special. Some days are so, so blessed. Some days, nobody dies at all. Now and then, every once in a very long while, every day in a million days, everybody lives."
I win this round, Aporia. Your move.
So inspirational, Med. So very, very inspirational.
DeleteBut that is what you do, is it not? That is how you convince yourself that you're helping. That it isn't a complete waste of time.
How does it feel to be the source of information for so many people? To be quoted? Admit it, you are a popular one. You've tricked not only yourself, but oh so many other people into believing that it will make a difference in the end, and that there will be an end.
I wonder, though. You say you came into this knowing the stakes and the odds. Surely, then, you knew the possibilities of damage to yourself. Would you ever have imagined that you would lose an eye? By choice?
Yes, I have lost the battle. But I shall win the war.
~Aporia
Fuuuuck, why do my posts keep disappearing.
Delete"I imagined that I would lose my life. By choice. But not just yet. And I know that I'm helping, because there are already people whose lives have been saved or made better in some small way by my actions. It feels... strange to be so popular, as you put it. It was something I really wasn't expecting, which just goes to show the future isn't set in stone.
DeleteWe seem to be at fundamental ideological loggerheads here. You keep telling me that what I do is pointless and futile, because you believe this battle will never end. This is my rebuttal:
'Everyone reading this is going to die'. Which one of your statements do you believe, Aporia? I'm pretty sure you read your post as you typed it. And if you aren't immune, what makes the Fears?"
Take that, Blogger! You can't eat my words!
Mmm. The definition of Aporia, dear, is:
Delete1: an expression of real or pretended doubt or uncertainty especially for rhetorical effect
2: a logical impasse or contradiction; especially : a radical contradiction in the import of a text or theory that is seen in deconstruction as inevitable
I chose the name for a reason.
~Aporia
I think I like you, Aporia.
Delete"Everybody knows that everybody dies, but not every day. Not today. Some days are special. Some days are so, so blessed. Some days, nobody dies at all. Now and then, every once in a very long while, every day in a million days, everybody lives."
DeleteOMGOMGOMG THAT'S RIVERRRRR IN THE LIBRARYYYYYYYYYYY
OMG
................*coughcough* um.... I'll just go fangirl in this corner over here and watch the finale because Aporia made me miss it.
-Spyre
Someone very close to me said that it wasn't so much dying that mattered. But how you died. That some people would like to go out knowing their lives meant something.
ReplyDeleteJust putting that out there.
All of you will die, and pointlessly at that. Your lives and deaths will simply be sad reminders that you were toys for the Fears, and nothing more.
Delete~Aporia
Those who have already died seem to prove you wrong. Symbols of strength and honesty. So many have gone down fighting. So many have done something with themselves. Already. And you think that us here, who have seen people die both with and without dignity, are going to amount to nothing?
DeleteYou are very naive. Things are already changing. Fewer of us are dying. Perhaps you need to rethink your argument.
Has it not occured to you that the Fears are toying you? You will all die, even if there have been fewer deaths of late. Pray tell, when was the last time a Runner in charge of a blog died?
DeleteAnd, may I ask your plans for the twenty-first?
~Aporia
Of course the fears are toying with us. That's what they do. But to say that our actions are futile is two different points. The second of which I do not believe. It is a rather narrow minded view to attribute everything that happens to the fears. Are you going to tell me that it only rains because the fears allow it?
DeleteAbout a month ago, I'd say.
The twenty first of when? June? Bit far ahead for someone of my lifestyle, don't you think? I could be doing anything.
The twenty-first of June is the summer solstice, dear. People shall die then.
Delete~Aporia
People always die.
DeletePeople always live.
Is it too late to jump in, dearies?..
ReplyDeleteI'd like to have a go at these "mind games."
If you know who I am, you know that I'm strong, so I doubt that'd you'd even want to accept my challenge, but I'll accept your white flag if you wish to wave.
- Lylia
Another champion for little Spyre, then? Where do the lot of you come from? I swear, the culmination of so many fools in one place is remarkable. Should not at least one of you stay a safe distance away for the preservation of the species?
DeleteI jest. Welcome to the game, Lylia. I hope you find it even half as entertaining as I do.
~Aporia
Well, I was staying away, but the faith I have in these 'Others' is less for they are not my friends, not yet at least.
DeleteOh and, I'm no fool, I'm probably a higher power than you, my dear Aporia.
- Lylia
I've read your blog sweet-heart, I know about the god complex. Worry not, I have a bit of one myself.
Delete~Aporia
I said slight god complex, actually. You have one heck of a big one, but I know that you really, truly, are a weakling compared to me.
DeleteIt'll be fun watching you attempt to defeat me.
- Lylia
"We carved our names in the fallen tree. Our tiny mark. Our proof that we still desired life. We would not go gently into that great night.
ReplyDeleteWe were leaders, followers, warriors, even cowards. Some of us were betrayers.
There are no winners in this game.
But there is tomorrow."
-R
"Only fools celebrate victory when it is not earned."
ReplyDelete"Fools, the ilk of our kind."
So, who are you doing next? Just curious.
ReplyDeleteMmm. Today shall be Kendra, I believe. Roy shall likely come after her.
Delete~Aporia
Ah. Thanks for the answer.
DeleteOh joy.......
DeleteI'm next? Great, this should be loads of fun.
Delete