Into the past

This post is going to sound nothing like me, so I'm just going to put which personality I am up here.  This is Joan.  And if you're wondering why this isn't going to sound like me, then I'll just let you know that there will be no joking here. 

You've all heard about the war.  The big mental battle over leadership.  The ones of us that were there picked sides.  I honestly don't know how many of you know exactly how many of us there are, but I may as well toss a list down here to refresh ya.

Ash
Spark
Arra
Logic
Spyre
Joan (me)
Eis
Tere
Bleak
Shade
Nerene (formerly NL)
Schatten

Eis, Tere, Nerene, and Schatten weren't there when the war happened.  They're newer than the rest of us.

All of us personalities were 'born' through a traumatic experience.  And some experiences are traumatic enough to create twins.  Two personalities at once.  That's how Reya and I were. 

We were 'born' when we were abandonned for five hours at the age of four.  Probably the most terrifying experience a four year old can go through.  Our parents eventually found us, but we were already getting the tour by that point.  Getting introduced to good old Ark. 

Ever read Harry Potter?  Reya and I were Fred and George. 

Funny thing is... in the mental plane, we all look different, we act different, we dress different.  But Reya and I... we were identical.  Except I was funnier.

We fell into the Rebecca camp (Spark, before she became Spark).  We wanted her to lead us, not Ashley.  We didn't care if Ash came first.  Rebecca was more fun.  When the fighting broke out... we were mortified.  When we saw a personality die for the first time... It scarred us.  Permanently. 

In the mental plane, we all have our abilities.  Reya and I had the same one.  We were telekinetic there.  So yeah, we moved things.  It made for amazing pranks.  But we suddenly had to use it to fight.  To kill.  What was worse was that these people were our best friends, our family.  You have no idea how hard it is to kill the person that shares all of your memories, that knows you better than anyone else.  It's nearly impossible.

Now try to imagine watching yourself die before your eyes.  Not just yourself, but the person closer to you than anyone else in the whole damn universe.
You'd hate the person that killed them, wouldn't you?  Never forgive them.  Rose, you said it was a mistake that Ashley killed my twin.  It wasn't.  She just wanted control.  But I've forgiven her.  For everything BUT that.

Reya was more important to me than anything.  And I failed her.

We all lost someone close in that war.  But everyone would agree that I'm the one who lost the most.



-Joan